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FreakShow History: A Co-Host Named "Hooch"

FreakShow History: A Co-Host Named "Hooch"

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    So from 9/2-9/5, my old pal & former co-host "Hooch" is back to The FreakShow to co-host for a few days. So for those of you who may not know him, here's a quick review. Start at picture #1 and click the aright arrows on the big pictures . Have fun.
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    So Hooch had been working part-time promotions at a competing station but was e-mailing Holmes, expressing his high level of interest to be on the FreakShow. Weird. Lesson #1, take your competition out to drink.
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    We get Hooch drunk, he volunteers a lot of fun information, I offer him a position on the FreakShow but... he'd be quitting his PAID job at the other station to come INTERN FREE for us. The difference is, we'd let him talk on air on the FreakShow.
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    He resigned from the competitor and we began a three day alcohol fueled welcome party. We club hop which meant MORE booze. I start to introduce him a co-host on the FreakShow and ladies starting attention to the new radio star.
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    WOMEN were his weakness, oh man were they. They smelled FRESH MEAT... accept by FRESH MEAT I mean he'd buy them drinks. Lesson #2 gonna be learned very soon....
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    ... even the entire group of wet t-shirt contestants wanted him one night, this was the best UNPAID job ever... uh oh. The pitchers of he just bought everyone, he can't pay for...
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    With no $$ for booze, the ladies stopped praying on Hooch for drinks. A few celeb friends of mine felt sorry for him, invited us to VIP to drink. After drinking all of Real World douche's Grey Goose, douche kicks us out.
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    Jashod comes along just shakin his head, he's seen it all before. Dumb young guys get so p-whipped by the golddiggers. Hooch didn't know that this was expensive top shelf champagne we were drinkin called PITIFUL. lol.
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    So the hot chicks stopped comin around, and as you can see here, pickins were gettin bad.
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    he got depressed, he had been so close to losing his virginity but now he's so far. One night I bought him a blow job shot to go give this chick, she gave it back to him and told to "go bl** himself. He left quickly, most likely to run home and attempt what she just said to do.
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    We tried to cheer him up, we sent him to interview "Weird Al" Yanchovic, didnt help...
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    We let him stay in studio when we had DJ Drama there, we assumed Hooch knew who he was... nope, he didn't.
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    We even did this elaborate prank where we drove over to Detroit to a TV station, when we got there, I told him we were fired from the radio station but the TV station wanted us as entertainment reporters right away. Sat at the anchor desk and everything. he says "cool maybe girls will talk to me again over here"
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    Alright now I'm mad, nothings getting out of this chick slump, so we go to a Griffins game. he LOOOOVES hockey but has no clue what we've arranged.
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    Met & took pics with some cheerleaders... Hooch starts asking the girls what it's like to be the bottom person in the pyramid they do, they start explaining, he looks TOO interested, I pull him away,,,
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    ...then with this view of the ice I let him know that WE we hosting the entertainment on the ice between periods. His eyes get huge, finally, something excited him again. I tell him that beforehand , there's a secret crush here to see him, he tells me I'm lyin... I say follow me I'll show you...
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    ...we are standing at quite a distance but he cans ee the t-shirt says "I Heart Hooch". I tell him that she one of those cougar chicks, thinks he's adorable, let's go meet her. As we got closer he finally realizes... that's his MOM.
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    I realize then that before Hooch knew that was his mom, I bet he was thinkin bout gettin her naked and bangin this cougar groupie. he wouldn't talk to me.
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    To make it up to him, tried taking him the bobby bar, that didn't work.
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    After some proper guidance and advice, he was talking again
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    Found a chick that said we could stick bottles up her butt -- $10 each. He kinda liked the idea but quickly said "Nah, it's only cause she wants me to buy the alcohol in the bottles for her to drink first, let's go." he said. Feeling really bad about this has all worked out, we get our car, drive down Division, then back up, then back down a few times.
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    20 minutes later we're at my apartment with this hooker. He looks happy and he was, for about two minutes. Mumbled something about "why can't someone love ME for ME?" and made a dramatic-female during her time of the month exit.
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    Next day I try introducing him to famous people, this was some reality show chick that REALLY mattered cause I can't remember her name now...
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    Ok jokes back on Hooch as I make him come with me to the Jonas Brothers meet n greet that night at Van Andel lol.
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    We even find some people who were dressed up as ius... and the rest of the SNX air staff. Weird. That's when I noticed him scratching down there. Scratching even more, then he says "awww dammit, I bet Margie... DAMN"
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    He pulls this pic out of "Margie", he says she was there when he needed it, blah blah blah, and they accidentally had sex 8 or 9 times.
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    Fearing Hooch had crabs, I went to my friend Kingpin to ask if he knew want to do. He had been with MAD Holland chicks so I figured he'd dealt with this before. Kingpin shook his and just said, We will pray for you Freak Christ". Next morning, first stop was...
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    yup, the Health Department on College Avenue. In fact, I didn't just make Hooch get tested, I made the manwhores Spotty & Sean Boney and Ashley Mariah all get tested too.
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    Hooch was scared waiting for the results. I knew the outlook wasn't good for him but this was gonna make great radio. One final dig at him "Hey Hooch, if your 100% clean, I'll get Aubrey from Danity Kane here to GR for you". He wasn't happy.
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    Test results. And Hooch is .... CLEAN WTF???
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    None of us understand it, we were ALL clean, how was this possible? Here comes Hooch up to me, he says "so this Thursday and Friday I'm free for Aubrey". Damn, how would I pull THAT promise off?
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    Then I remembered I was Holmes from The FreakShow, made two calls and had her little Aubrey ass in Hooch's hand about 38 hours later. Aubrey actually wanted to date Hooch, he respectfully declined. He would only keep comparing Aubrey to his first true love...
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    ....Margie Margie Margie, so sexy in her toilet pose. Ok now you know a lil about Hooch.
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    Another prostitute, funny she wouldn't go home with cause she heard him crying on the last prostitute. ROFL He has bad prostitute refernces.
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    Hooch randomly trying trying to give and/or receive pleasure from the top of this car's trunk.
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    Told you earlier HOOCH has some sort of "being crushed at the bottom of a human stacked triangle or something... GOD WEIRD.
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    The only radio guy in the market that always had a story to top ours, and we know they were prolly all true too! Aris Hampers!
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    OK HERE IT IS, the embarrassing pic of HOOCH making out with someone inside Margarita Grill., click and be ready to puke...
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    HOOCH MADE OUT WITH..... HOLMES? WTF?? Wait, yeah that coulda happened.