These Chicago neighbors are fighting over Loud Sex! How do they handle it? They write passive aggressive notes to each other. We benefit with the humor of it all. I used to bang my broom handle on the ceiling in my old apartment.
The complaining Neighbor's Letter:
Could you please put a record on super loud or something when you are F---ING?? I'd really appreciate NOT having to hear every single trust [sic] and moan right through the f---ing wall. And I'm SURE you'd rather not share THAT info with complete strangers. Luckily for me, it never lasts very long. "
The LOUD Neighbor posts this back:
My, my! How lovely to meet you in this incredibly tactful, kind + civilized manner. Did you really need to post your hissyfit on my door like a whiney scarlet letter? ... Your obvious frustration from my pleasure saddens + confuses me. I'm not yelling, or anything terribly disrespectful. Apparently, we have the thinnest walls on Earth because -- I assure you -- the moans you're so upset by are masturbation induced. That's why it "doesn't last very long." I know what I'm doing and porn is free, + I have the best vibrator. I got it at Taboo Taboo [sic] down the street. You should really invest in one -- you sound a bit, uh, tense...
SEX IS NATURAL AND HEALTHY
I am proud of my sexuality, so your attempted SLUT-SHAMING is useless here. Had you approached me n a respectful manner, I would have been happy to oblige. But we all know our rent is exorbitant. I pay enough to do whatever I please in the privacy of my own home. AND PLEASE I SHALL! I suggest you whip out your big girl panties and deal with it.
- The girl in 517"